The Unspoken Rules of Friendship

So I realize that here at P&P we aren't good at many things. We're not good at consistently posting entries, we're not very good at finishing posts within the month we first began them. I know we're both not very good at sports, or playing instruments, singing, we're not good at staying in good moods very long, we're probably both horrible at things such as water skiing and sky diving, but I know one thing we're both alright at:

We're both fairly good at being friends. Or at least, in my opinion we are. But what do I know? MOVING ON. Recent times have gotten me thinking a lot about a lot of things, and obviously one of those things is friendship. That being said, I believe that ever good relationship revolves around a set of unspoken rules, that modify from case to case. Now being the 'helpful' little Nyrrds we are I've decided it's high time we help you friendship-ly challenged folks out and write down the basic forms of those rules, as a sort of guide line. Without further adieu,
Without further adieu, Phreddie will jump in with her bold purple text and third person referring to say:
Most of these just apply to best friends as I don't share food or be especially touchy with not close friends.

  THE UNSPOKEN RULES OF FRIENDSHIP (IN GENERAL TERMS)

(IN NO ORDER OF IMPORTANCE)

 

• Your Food is My Food.

                          Simple as it sounds. All food is shared food, only excluding select few in specific cases. In our case, ramen noodles are never shared, they are too few and far between.

• Gross to me is gross to you.

More specifically: if that guy is a douche to you, I also hate him and he is nasty. This rule also applies to unpleasant girls as well, i.e. a bitch to you is a bitch to me. However, the opposite is not necessarily true, meaning that a nice guy/girl in your opinion might not rise to the same standard in mine.  

• Gossip is bad. But. .  .

Yes, yes. Talking about people in ways you don't want to get back to them is wrong. But we are only human. It does in fact happen. So, when a friend is talking to you about somebody, and you don't think they'd say it to the aforementioned person's face, you'd do best to also not say anything about it to them. Now, if you are unclear whether it's safe to mention whatever it is to whomever the subject is, you can do one of two things: when in doubt, don't or just ask your friend if it's off limits. Your friend should be gracious enough to give you a straight answer, and explain if you don't understand their reasons.

• It's only an Inside Joke if it's Still Between Us.

(Yeah yeah I couldn't think of a better caption, shhh.) If you and your friend have an inside joke (or, if you're unfamiliar with the term, a quick urban dictionary definition: Something shared usually among close/best friends. When you can say a simple word or phrase and be sent into hysterical laughing, that word or phrase is an inside joke. To other people who are "out side", the ones who are "in side" seem preppy, stupid, and immature. Here's another in depth one: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Inside+joke ), do not explain the joke to anyone. Literally, no one else in their right mind (should) find it as funny as you do, and if they do the joke loses all sentiment between you and your friend. For example, none of you will ever know what "Something about. .  . Matthew???" means. Ever. And that's okay. So don't go blabbing your mouth.

• Touch Me you Saxy Beast

So I think we've already established we both like platonic touch. Cuddle me, give me non-sexual kisses, hold my hand, play with my hair, put your arm around me, lay your head on me (or in most cases, let me do that to you). This may not be the same in all friendships, but it is with ours. Mostly from myself (Phred). Sorry Phrankie.

 

• A Best Friend Equals a Free Therapist

 

This one is pretty simple. No matter how tough the outside may seem, everyone is messed up on the inside. And if you're someone's friend, or you have a friend, then you both now have a therapist. Whether its just talking it out, crying on their shoulder, letting them scream at you or punch your shoulder when they need to let it out, that's what a best friend is their for. I mean, they're obviously there for the good times and the high notes as well, but they're not a best friend until they've been drug through your own personal mud pit with you.

There you have it folks, just a few of the most basic unspoken rules of being close friends. Now, not that we get that much commentary, if you have anything you would like to add, or any questions, comments, or concerns about our suggested rules, feel free to tell us in the comments or send us an email, y'know, whatever.

Loveses yous

Phranklynn & Phredrick MS

sorry

Anxiety is your heart pounding when you get a phone call and you can do nothing to stop it.
Anxiety is not being able to control your panic and breathing even when it's someone familiar on the other line.
Anxiety is almost crying when your mother asks you to take the check up to the counter at Waffle House.
Developing anxiety is almost puking and hyperventilating before a competition that you've done a dozen times before, and being confused because this has never happened to you before what's wrong with you now?
Anxiety is stumbling over your words when you try to have a conversation and going home later and almost crying about it, even when you know they probably didn't even notice.
Anxiety is someone making fun of your mannerisms or habits and you beating yourself up about it for days, and trying to keep from doing it anymore.
Anxiety is even considering telling people what's going on with you, and getting teary eyes and a clogged throat.
Anxiety is someone asking what's wrong, and this is it! You can finally get it out! and four words in you're trying not to sob on the couch in front of everyone, because when you cry everyone looks at you, and you wanted their attention before but not in this way because now they think you're weak and helpless and that's not what you want you just want them to understand.
This is what anxiety looks like for me.
Anxiety is a part of my life.
Anxiety is a part of me.

A dysfunctional household is you parents being depressed.
A dysfunctional household is your dad being disabled and always angry and always yelling and you just want him to calm down and please stop yelling because it just makes everything worse. It's him always telling everyone what to do and being impatient and expecting us to know what he's thinking without any context. It's him treating you like you're stupid because you never learned something that he never taught you, and treating you like everything is your fault even if you didn't have a breath of involvement.
A dysfunctional household is you mom being serious about things that are jokes and joking about things that are serious. It's her telling you to get over your anxiety more than once within three days. It's her always going on about everyone else having their issues and everyone else needing to get help and always talking about everyone else, always saying that they need to fix this, always complaining about someone else, finding issues that don't exist, and yet never acknowledging that she's one of the craziest ones of the bunch and she causes all the problems too and she eggs on the little things and makes dad angry all the time and they never stop yelling and arguing and they never realize that maybe they're the reason no one is ever happy at home very long anymore.
 A dysfunctional family is your brother being depressed and everyone saying he's bipolar but never too his face because they think he'd just get angry but it's not like they ever try and just calmly talk to him anymore and they're always talking about him needing help and needing to see a doctor but no he's an adult now so they don't care enough to try and get him help when if you really look you can see that he's hurting too and he's lonely and he's just as lost as the rest of us.
A dysfunctional family is your sister who sees all the things that you see and for once you're able to talk about it to her because she actually knows what it's like for you right now, except she doesn't because talks with her about it always leave you feeling worse off because they're confirmation that what you're seeing is real except she thinks everything is more extreme than you pretend it is and it always makes you wonder how much worse it might actually be and how much of it you're still ignoring.
A dysfunctional family is everyone dumping everything in you and they just keep dumping and dumping and soon your dam is might break and not even you know what that will mean and a dysfunctional family is everyone being so caught up in what's wrong with them that they just assume that you're still the strong one and that you can still take anything and they never stop to consider that you're not okay and they never think to ask how you're doing.
This is what my family looks like. Perfect from the outside but the inside is full of termites and sooner or later the tree will die.
A dysfunctional family is what I live with, and I want to get out so badly, and it makes me sad and it makes me angry that I want to leave so soon so badly.

 

This is what I've been going through.

This is what my life is like every day.

I pretend I'm okay, people don't ask, and I wouldn't be able to tell them if they did.

My life is not the worst crayon in the box but it's not a good one either.

I have cried more in the past two months than I can recall in the past three years.

I cry for other people because I know that I have one of the best lives of many that I know, but I cry for myself more because I am selfish and I am not as strong as I act and because I still don't know what to do about anything and because not much of the happiness I find of late is very lasting and I'm running on very low fuel now and it's just getting lower.

I cry because I don't know how to help anyone around myself but mostly because I don't know how to help myself and no one knows how to help me either.

 

 

phrank ms



The Boyfriend Tag/Guys I've Kept A Relationship For More Than Month

Hello all!

Phreddie here yet again with an "I'm not dead I promise"

With so many things going on (behind on my school work, moving again, what I'm assuming is manic depression/bpd making doing any of those things really hard) I haven't really found time to write.

I will try to do it more (With Phrank and Teo getting on me about writing that won't be too hard) but no promises.

Now with the mention of Teo (As always, a fake name more for tradition than security) I should probably tell you guys more about him. 

So we decided to do the blog version of the boyfriend/girlfriend tag, but first a few little things that aren't included in the game:

So far I haven't really written much about him, but here goes.

We've been dating for just over four months.

He's 15, though he'll tell you he's 16 (He still has three months left).

He's a nerdy little dork, but a cute one.

Computers are his thing and I probably won't ever really understand what he's talking about when he tells me what he's doing, but I still love it when I can actually get it out of him.

I'm a needy little beast, but he handles it well. 

And I honestly I'm just completely in love with him.

He's the only guy who's made me feel really secure about our relationship and I love him for that.

He and Phrank have a lot of really weird parallels as well, which has made him her favorite of any boy I've ever dated.

I don't really have to say he's my favorite too.

But without further ado, lets start the game

When And How Did We Meet?

We met when I had a waitressing job for a week and on the last day his cute ass showed up to "hang out" but his stepmom (the owners daughter) put him to work, and we kinda just ended up hanging out together a lot.

How Long Have We Been Together?

Four months and one week.

When Did I Meet His Family?

I've never met any of his biological family but I know his stepmom and stepsister (they don't like me).

And I talked to his mom for like 5 minutes on skype, and she's so sweet and southern, it's hilarious.

Do We Have Any Traditions?

I'm not sure if it counts really as a tradition, but I cat call him everytime he takes his glasses off (a lot) and on occasion I'll attempt to reverse cat call when he puts them back on.

What Was The First Thing I Noticed About Him?

He was dorky and cute and adorably awkward

What Is His Favorite Food?

Sushi and/or Pizza

What Do We Argue About Most?

Who loves the other more =^_^=

But in all actuallity we don't argue often and it's not usually about the same things.

(Though, jealousy is a common theme)

Who Wears The Pants In The Relationship?

Him, for sure.

Now on to some questions that I got wrong a lot:

Purple Is My Guess

Green Is His Answer

If He's In Front Of The TV, What Is He Watching?

I honestly am so lost here.

Cartoons?

Cop shows?

Nah, Usually anime

What Is One Food He Doesn't Like?

Look at all the questions I don't know the answer too.

Ummm, broccoli?

No, Liver, yuck

What Is His Shoe Size?

Awwww shiz, idk how boys shoes work.

Ummm, 10?

9 1/2

I WAS CLOSE

What Is His Favorite Sandwich?

Oh God, I know nothing.

Turkey?

Yes.

I WIN.

What Would He Eat Everyday If He Could?

Um, well, Sushi?

Nope, apples and peanut butter.

(I still don't get how your favorite foodand the one you would eat every day are different but ya know)

What Is His Favorite Cereal?

Um

Umm

Ummm

Frosted Flakes?

Nope, Life.

Life?

Life.

Life?

*Explains that Life is a cereal*

What Is His Favorite Kind Of Music?

Electro dance music/Nightcore esque music

Yeesshh

What Is His Eye Color?

Almost positive it's brown, but now that it matters I'm having doubts.

It's brown.

I win.

Who Is His Best Friend?

Oh shit.

You don't talk about your friends, ever.

I remember someone named Andrew.

Nope, it's Houston.

You literally have never mentioned that name ever.

What's Something That I Do That He Wishes I Didn't

Worry.

About everything.

Yesssss

What's Something That He Does That I Wish He Didn't?

I wish You didn't say you were fine when you're obviously upset

Yeah...

Where Is He From?

Crossing my fingers that it's Tennessee.

CORRECT

Does He Play Any Sports?

I know you don't currently play sports and I don't think you have ever.

WRONG, I HAVE TOO.

I played Basketball a few years back.

What Could He Do For Hours?

Hack/Troll/Play Skyrim

Yup.

If He Could Live Anywhere, Where Would It Be?

JAPAN

YES

So hopefully you know my boyfriend a little bit better, and hopefully I can get back into the swing of things and write a bit more.

So until next time, I'm gonna go delete some year old drafts.

Bye Bye Angels

- Phred McSparrow

So I got a Kik

And like I don't even understand.
Like, I know (vaguely) how to work it and whatever, I mean I only got it because Phred's new phone plan won't let her text my area code, but who decided to basically make a texting app that requires internet. I mean I suppose it's usefull, but whatever.


                                --- Phranklynn McS.

Allow Me to (re) Introduce Myself.

Hey you guys, I've been looking back at some of our older posts lately, and I think this sort of thing is growing necessary.

I think it's time we (re) introduce ourselves. Saying that, I know that it would be simple for you to go back and read our very first posts, and learn the basics about us, but we've changed a lot since then. I'm older, wiser, I'm certainly a better writer, and I've learned some things about myself that I didn't really know when I was fourteen. And I want to sum those things up for me just as much as I do for you. Without much more introduction, let me give you the run-down on me.

 

I'm stubborn as hell. Some people would say it's caused I'm a Taurus. I'm skeptical about the zodiac stereotypes, but I also love reading them and pretending I understand people better by doing so.

I'm not really lazy, but I procrastinate enough that I'll probably put off dying forever and become immortal. But maybe laziness and procrastination go hand in hand.

I'm sixteen now. I'm a cishet white chick, but I think I'm pretty much the opposite of demisexual. Meaning, if we're just friends -close friends, barely friends, whatever-, then I love being touched by you. Kiss my cheek, hug me constantly, hang your arm on my shoulder, hold my hand, I love it all, I don't care if you're a guy friend or a girl friend, I love the platonic touch. But if we're in any sort of a romantic relationship, don't touch me. Don't hug me around anyone, don't you dare kiss me around anyone, I will probably punch you in the face, cry when I get home, and not talk to you for a week. If you want to hold my hand, I'm probably thinking of things that my hand could do as an excuse to not be touching you anymore. Just leave me be, no touchy.

Many people fancy me an artist. They think that means I can paint, but that's a lie. My acrylics, atrocious. Watercolors are a shapeless blob. Instead, I find my medium in graphite pencils, Crayola markers, pen and ink, things I can control. I'll see about posting some for you sometime. They're not Van Gogh, but they're my sort of thing.

I'm really quiet, I'm shy, but not like I used to be. I'm terribly introverted, but that doesn't mean I won't take charge if I have to, or put someone in their place. And respect, if you don't give me the respect I deserve, you bet your life I will NOT give you any respect back. I'm a 2nd degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do. I may not be able to take down an MMA champ, but I have been working my butt off for seven years to earn that title. If you talk down on me -especially if you're a lower rank in the school- or give me attitude, or disrespect me even on a miniscule level, you have immediately lost any favor you had with me, you've lost any good things I would have said about you, and if I have ever talked to anyone about you, then they know what an ass you've been, 100% guarantee. By that point you've lost any chance you had of getting my affection.

I hate dishonesty. If you can't tell me the truth long enough to say my shirt has something on it, or answer the simplest of questions, I will not deal with you. I can handle cheesiness, even enjoy it, to an extent. If you're not willing to put it aside for fifteen minutes and have a serious conversation, then you need to find someone else to talk to.

I love being involved in group things. I yearn to hang at coffee shops with friends, I long to spend a Saturday playing Frisbee at the park with everyone, but I have too much anxiety to initiate. If I'm not directly invited to join in a game, I'll watch from the side and pretend I don't want to. I pretend I'm tough enough for it not to affect me, but sometimes I need that gentle whisper of "it's okay" and "I'll do it with you" that people quit offering once you grow out of being a "little girl".  

I hate being called a princess, or called girly, but sometimes I just wish my life were a Disney movie. I wish to be Jasmine, fighting back for herself alongside Aladdin, I want to burst out into flawless musical numbers, and the story book happy ending.

 I don't think I should have to wear makeup to be attractive. So far, the public disagrees. I have maintained my resolve of not wearing it every time I leave the house, but sometimes putting on a little eyeliner and concealer makes me feel good.   

I hate country music. I prefer the alternative tones of Panic! at the Disco's lovely Brendan Urie, I love the power behind Fall Out Boy's Patrick Stump when he sings What a Catch Donnie. I love the slightly "grungier" sounds of House of Heroes, but equally enjoy the emotions behind a lone singer behind an acoustic guitar.

I prefer Marvel to D.C. Ironman is my top dog, I strive to shoot a bow like Hawkeye. Matt Murdock is adorable, and I wish I could fight half as well as that blind dork. Spiderman is like your high school best friend. Youthful, goofy, and your first real companion.

Speaking of, I have a compound bow. I'm rusty, but not bad.

I love the gore of Supernatural. I could watch someone dig a bullet out of themselves and not blink an eye. Supernatural provides that outlet of "nasty". Sam is my giant moose-puppy, Dean is my protective big brother. Cas is basically the best. Doctor Who is the person you keep forgetting about, but then you meet again and you love them all over again.

I have trouble falling asleep after watching a "darker" show, so I always top the night off with something like The Office, How I Met Your Mother, or Digimon(#tbt. Except, I've just recently taken up watching it again).

I play Pokémon.

My favorite Movie Franchises are Indiana Jones and Jurrasic Park. I am beyond excited for Jurassic World coming out this summer.

I really love Dinosaurs.

I am probably the biggest nerd you will ever meet. I read at least twice as many books as average, I wear contacts/glasses. I know everything to know about Harry Potter.

I may suck at being around real people, but you know what? I'm actually pretty cool. Ya'll are missing out.

 

 

Peace,

Phrank McSparrow.

A Sigh of Admission

Here's me, Phranklynn George Mister Periwinkle McSparrow, giving into the pressue of society and teenage life in general, and writing about freaking crushes and romance.

And I am disappointed in myself.

So, so disappointed.

 

You see, as you may or may not know, a little over six months ago, when my first and only romantic relationship ended, I decided that dating(and boys) were, for the time being, a stupid idea.

And until recently, I still held onto the notion that I didn't want a crush, and refused to let myself become overly involved in thinking about guys.

 

---Side note: in my whole (now) sixteen years, I have never had any really guy friends. I've had my brother's guy friends, my sister's guy friends, and one boyfriend. Not counting like kindergarten.---

 

I did, however, decide that I wanted more friends. I mean, love her to death, but Phred isn't always there when I'm at a public function, and I'm tired of standing in corners or trailing my family members. Having said that, I've been working on being more involved in things, and stepping outside my comfort zone. I've joined into conversations more, I play more games, I all around put myself out there more. And having said that, I've been hanging around guys more meaning what?

Oh yeah.

I'm in the prime zone for developing crushes.

 

I have a very serious love/hate relationship with crushes. I love them in that I'm not asexual or aromantic, I do enjoy those butterfly feelings. I enjoy being around the person who causes those feelings. Ugh. But the thing about crushes is, I would 85% prefer people had them on me, not vice versa. So that's my narcissistic point. Sue me.

In that I'm saying that I do love a fluttery stomach, but I more so enjoy the thought that somebody looks at me and gets that feeling.

 I know I'm going to sound like a hopeless romantic, but I really hate all the cheesy bits about romance. I promise.

I want to know that whenever they see that green dot by my name on Facebook, that they smile at the simple possibility that they could talk to me. I want their heart to race when I walk in the door, I want them to grin like an idiot when they think of me. I want them to think of any excuse they can to just touch my arm, I want them to be ecstatic if they get a hug out of me.

I want to know that someone is feeling the same things I've felt before, but infinitely more.

And I'm constantly disappointed, because I know I'm not causing those feelings in anyone.

 

Bringing it back to what I was saying earlier, I've been hanging with more dudes lately, putting me right in the place of getting a crush.

And mother of all that is holy I freaking have a crush on some dork.

And because that's what I call him when I'm talking to Phred, his blog-name shall be The Dork, or That Dork, because Dork is an affectionate title for me, in most cases.

Anywho, I have been in vehement denial of this whole "liking" for a few weeks, and at this point I've pretty much accepted my fate. However, it is just an off and on crush, so I haven't lost all hope yet.

Anyways, I'm going to plunge into the deep end and talk about crushes seriously, and "types" or whatever. 

Yep.

Ok.

How do you words.

 

OKAY, SO TYPES.

Over the last few months, I have discovered that I have some sort of 'type'.

Here's the basic run down of my "type":

1. I apparently like blonde guys. I never expected this as a kid, and when I think of a generic attractive dude, he is never blonde. Always dark hair.

2. I like dudes with curly (to an extend) hair. Again with the hair standards, I'm ridiculous.

Let's do a sum of previous crushes:

Michael(at age 11ish): Reddish blonde, curly hair. Tall.

Danny:(age 13-14): Blonde, curly hair. Tall.

Aaron(Not really a crush, just cute): Blond, curly hair. Tall(er than me).

Jamie Bower(Celeb crush, Current): Dude just look him up. I bet you know what to expect.

 

It is an achievement in itself that The Dork isn't blonde. I mean, his hair's wavyish. But I wouldn't say curly. Also, he's taller than me, but I'm only like Five-Three maybe.  So if a guy is shorter than me, I mean, c'mon dude, nobody is shorter than me. Wait, I was making a list. Hold on.

 

OKAY,  CONTINUING:

3. I like funny dudes. I'm quiet, I need somebody a little louder with humor to balance it out.

4. I won't deal with somebody who is overly cheesey. If you're being that cheesey, then there's no way you're being honest. And I will NOT handle dishonesty well.

 

I'm pretty sure that's about it. Yep. I just admitted a bunch of private crap to the whole internet. Scary cause Phred and I are thinking about making our blog known to some of our IRL friends. *unenthused* yaaaayyy.....

 

So that's all I have for today ya'll.

See ya.

(but for heaven's sake, if you like somebody, even as a friend, act like it. that's like a major confidence boost)

 

Buh-Bye

 

Phrankie.



I've got a dream (she's got a dream...)

Okay, so for those of you who may not have read some of my older posts where I mentioned this, I'm a Christian.

Straightforward, I know.

Having said that, a couple weeks ago at youth group, we started a series called "What Keeps You Up At Night?", and it's all about your dreams, and your fears, an how to deal with them (basically).

So at the end of the service, they had us tear off the ends of our paper with the notes on it (those of us who got paper- Oooohh, burn.). On those pieces of paper, they had three things written:
Name:

Dream:



Fear:




They asked us to fill out that sheet, and after we put it in a basket we were dismissed to our small groups. Now, they suggested things for our "Dreams" space, such our future career, or just something we wanted to do with our lives in general. For our "Fear" space, they didn't necessarily mean fear so much as what do we feel is blocking our path to achieve that dream.
Of course, I wrote my planned career, but I also did something that per my usual, was pretty courageous.
I sort of indulged in something that's been on my heart for a while, even if I only identified it around a year ago. It's sort of a difficult thing to explain, and I don't remember how I worded it on my paper either. So, I'm just going to do the best I can.
I have this weird instinct to try and be there for people. I want to be that person that people aren't afraid to pour their heart out to, and I want to be their "backbone" so to speak. I don't really know how else to describe that feel to you.
So I wrote something along those lines under dream, and under 'fear' wrote something like this:
I want to be there for people, but that's a hard thing to do when no one spares you a second glance. I can't be someone's support system when I'm just a background character to them.

Aaaaand so on.
Anywho, it's been like a week since I started this post, so I don't initially recall where I planned to steer it, so I'll say this:
Being that one "friend" that no one pays attention to sucks.
It sucks so bad.
And to be honest, it hurts a little and it's depressing.
Nobody wants to be included in a circle of conversation purely to fill a space.
Nobody wants to be left awkwardly standing around because that one person who treats you like you exist hasn't arrived yet.
Do you get the point yet?
NO ONE WANTS TO BE TREATED LIKE THAT.
And here's the thing, if you're not familiar with the feeling I'm describing, the chances are you're on of the people who keeps isolating us.
I'll give credit where it's due, many of you probably don't even realize you're doing it.
Regardless, next time you're at some group function and you notice that one kid who's always hovering around, waiting to be accepted by the people they admire, say hello. Involve them in the conversation, please.
Because I know I can't be the only one who comes home from an otherwise good night, and is suddenly sad because someone starts telling you a story about something that happened earlier, and you were standing right there when it happened. It's crushing, that you're so invisible that people will tell you a story you were involved in and not remember that you were even there.
It kills us to have to repeatedly introduce ourselves to people we hang around with, because they simply forget us time and time again.
Again, I know this is not on purpose, but please, please, pay attention to the invisible ones.
We usually want nothing more than to help.



Sorry for the rant,
Phranklynn McS.