Here's me, Phranklynn George Mister Periwinkle McSparrow, giving into the pressue of society and teenage life in general, and writing about freaking crushes and romance.
And I am disappointed in myself.
So, so disappointed.
You see, as you may or may not know, a little over six months ago, when my first and only romantic relationship ended, I decided that dating(and boys) were, for the time being, a stupid idea.
And until recently, I still held onto the notion that I didn't want a crush, and refused to let myself become overly involved in thinking about guys.
---Side note: in my whole (now) sixteen years, I have never had any really guy friends. I've had my brother's guy friends, my sister's guy friends, and one boyfriend. Not counting like kindergarten.---
I did, however, decide that I wanted more friends. I mean, love her to death, but Phred isn't always there when I'm at a public function, and I'm tired of standing in corners or trailing my family members. Having said that, I've been working on being more involved in things, and stepping outside my comfort zone. I've joined into conversations more, I play more games, I all around put myself out there more. And having said that, I've been hanging around guys more meaning what?
Oh yeah.
I'm in the prime zone for developing crushes.
I have a very serious love/hate relationship with crushes. I love them in that I'm not asexual or aromantic, I do enjoy those butterfly feelings. I enjoy being around the person who causes those feelings. Ugh. But the thing about crushes is, I would 85% prefer people had them on me, not vice versa. So that's my narcissistic point. Sue me.
In that I'm saying that I do love a fluttery stomach, but I more so enjoy the thought that somebody looks at me and gets that feeling.
I know I'm going to sound like a hopeless romantic, but I really hate all the cheesy bits about romance. I promise.
I want to know that whenever they see that green dot by my name on Facebook, that they smile at the simple possibility that they could talk to me. I want their heart to race when I walk in the door, I want them to grin like an idiot when they think of me. I want them to think of any excuse they can to just touch my arm, I want them to be ecstatic if they get a hug out of me.
I want to know that someone is feeling the same things I've felt before, but infinitely more.
And I'm constantly disappointed, because I know I'm not causing those feelings in anyone.
Bringing it back to what I was saying earlier, I've been hanging with more dudes lately, putting me right in the place of getting a crush.
And mother of all that is holy I freaking have a crush on some dork.
And because that's what I call him when I'm talking to Phred, his blog-name shall be The Dork, or That Dork, because Dork is an affectionate title for me, in most cases.
Anywho, I have been in vehement denial of this whole "liking" for a few weeks, and at this point I've pretty much accepted my fate. However, it is just an off and on crush, so I haven't lost all hope yet.
Anyways, I'm going to plunge into the deep end and talk about crushes seriously, and "types" or whatever.
Yep.
Ok.
How do you words.
OKAY, SO TYPES.
Over the last few months, I have discovered that I have some sort of 'type'.
Here's the basic run down of my "type":
1. I apparently like blonde guys. I never expected this as a kid, and when I think of a generic attractive dude, he is never blonde. Always dark hair.
2. I like dudes with curly (to an extend) hair. Again with the hair standards, I'm ridiculous.
Let's do a sum of previous crushes:
Michael(at age 11ish): Reddish blonde, curly hair. Tall.
Danny:(age 13-14): Blonde, curly hair. Tall.
Aaron(Not really a crush, just cute): Blond, curly hair. Tall(er than me).
Jamie Bower(Celeb crush, Current): Dude just look him up. I bet you know what to expect.
It is an achievement in itself that The Dork isn't blonde. I mean, his hair's wavyish. But I wouldn't say curly. Also, he's taller than me, but I'm only like Five-Three maybe. So if a guy is shorter than me, I mean, c'mon dude, nobody is shorter than me. Wait, I was making a list. Hold on.
OKAY, CONTINUING:
3. I like funny dudes. I'm quiet, I need somebody a little louder with humor to balance it out.
4. I won't deal with somebody who is overly cheesey. If you're being that cheesey, then there's no way you're being honest. And I will NOT handle dishonesty well.
I'm pretty sure that's about it. Yep. I just admitted a bunch of private crap to the whole internet. Scary cause Phred and I are thinking about making our blog known to some of our IRL friends. *unenthused* yaaaayyy.....
So that's all I have for today ya'll.
See ya.
(but for heaven's sake, if you like somebody, even as a friend, act like it. that's like a major confidence boost)
Buh-Bye
Phrankie.
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