Hello friends.
I feel as if I haven't posted as much of late, and I don't know if that's necessarily true, or if I just haven't been working on as many lately. Either way, I'm here to write another post, which will wind up being probably about recent romantic/ physical attractions.
As you all probably are informed/don't care, this past October marked the end of my very first yet excessively long relationship. I will tell you now that I don't waste my tears over petty things -I've been called "cold" for my lack of weeping at the most heartbreaking of times-, and I never once cried over the loss of that endeavor.
Until rather recently, I've actually had this sort of irrational frustration and anger, which sparked form nowhere, towards not only Danny and my previous relationship with him, but also towards the idea of getting in a new relationship with anyone. Again, this anger came from no logical place in my mind, but it was very prominent.
Now, I won't lie to you and say that this slight loathing is 100% gone, but I will say that it has lessened significantly. I'm no longer irritated when Danny texts me, though my goal of going a day without thinking about him is greatly hindered when this occurs. As mentioned, I have a somewhat irrational goal of going one solid day without thinking about Danny and/or our previous relationship. I say irrational simply because it is nearly impossible to go a day without thinking abut the entire previous year of your life; as, regrettably, I allowed my entire year, save maybe a week of summer camp, to be clouded by the constant conversation and companionship of that sickening relationship.
Whether or not you are trying to forget something specific, it is difficult to go a day without comparing it's events to the recent past.
All that being said, this is my official moving on, getting over it, not letting any of it bother me anymore post. Understand this, this is not me saying that I am just now over the whole 'I still love you take me back I'm sorry' phase. I never had that phase. Honestly. And I'm not sure if saying this causes some heart-breaking realization for him, if he even still reads these posts, but I have zero intentions of ever going back to him.
Sorry?
No. Not sorry. It's still my choice. I still am at the concurrence that that certain relationship was most definitely not healthy or a good relationship for me.
Okay.
I was going to go somewhere with this, but I started this post over a month ago, so I can't remember.
Oh well.
I might edit this later if I remember?
Till then,
The Universe is temporary
Reality is an illusion
buy gold
Good byyyyyeee'
Until rather recently, I've actually had this sort of irrational frustration and anger, which sparked form nowhere, towards not only Danny and my previous relationship with him, but also towards the idea of getting in a new relationship with anyone. Again, this anger came from no logical place in my mind, but it was very prominent.
Now, I won't lie to you and say that this slight loathing is 100% gone, but I will say that it has lessened significantly. I'm no longer irritated when Danny texts me, though my goal of going a day without thinking about him is greatly hindered when this occurs. As mentioned, I have a somewhat irrational goal of going one solid day without thinking about Danny and/or our previous relationship. I say irrational simply because it is nearly impossible to go a day without thinking abut the entire previous year of your life; as, regrettably, I allowed my entire year, save maybe a week of summer camp, to be clouded by the constant conversation and companionship of that sickening relationship.
Whether or not you are trying to forget something specific, it is difficult to go a day without comparing it's events to the recent past.
All that being said, this is my official moving on, getting over it, not letting any of it bother me anymore post. Understand this, this is not me saying that I am just now over the whole 'I still love you take me back I'm sorry' phase. I never had that phase. Honestly. And I'm not sure if saying this causes some heart-breaking realization for him, if he even still reads these posts, but I have zero intentions of ever going back to him.
Sorry?
No. Not sorry. It's still my choice. I still am at the concurrence that that certain relationship was most definitely not healthy or a good relationship for me.
Okay.
I was going to go somewhere with this, but I started this post over a month ago, so I can't remember.
Oh well.
I might edit this later if I remember?
Till then,
The Universe is temporary
Reality is an illusion
buy gold
Good byyyyyeee'
No comments:
Post a Comment