Feminism Time!

Phreddie here! Being the total man-girl I am (Phrank will laugh, you couldn't tell I was by my clothes), I'm feminist.

So, let's have a time of ranting.
I'm watching as many gross girly music videos I can before I puke.
I'm also going to do a commentary is I watch them, and you might want to read this while watching the video. Just a suggestion.
 so here goes:

Call Me Maybe:
You threw a wish in the well, don't tell me I'll never ask.
 Is he mowing her yard? Is that what's going on?
Did she brake into his house?
Ok, so when she says "I trade my soul for a wish, pennies and dimes for a kiss"
She basically just told us what she wished for.
And what does this "And now you're in my way" mean?
Is he holding her back from something?
This guy is way too muscular. Just sayin.
And now he sees her.
SERIOUSLY, IS HE IN HER YARD OR IS SHE IN HIS HOUSE?!
She broke into his house and he finds this amusing.
Yes, yes, because a garage band consisting of teenage guys would so play music for a song is pathetic as call me maybe. Hah.
"It's hard to look right at you baby" Actually, get me some popcorn, I could stare at this boy all day.
Ok when she says all the other boys try to chase me, that just strikes me as I'm a stuck up mother dog who will only accept a very, very muscular man who even manages to make drinking water look sexy.
These boys are like "Wash the car woman!" Which reminds me of my friends. Ah memories.
Seriously, what is in her way?!
Stop trying to get his attention. Just stop.
Ok, she keeps on saying I just met you, but all she ever did was brake into his house and sing at him with a garage band that looks way too cool for her.
You're trying so hard to look sexy washing that car. You should go be in P!nks Stupid Girls video.
She fell off the car and died. Thank god.
Oh wait, she's alive.
When they go to a bad cover of a romance novel, I swear to god he's wearing a womans crappy halloween wig.
She's all kissy kissy in the air and he finds it funny. Wow, I would find it creepy and walk away slowly.
She just laughs it off instead of being mortified. Music videos are very realistic.
Oh how I would love for a band to show up every time I needed to impress someone.
AND HE'S GAY! OH MY GOD! THAT WAS THE BEST ENDING I HAVE EVER SEEN!
So to recap, she brakes into his house, wallows on her soapy car, duck faces at him while knocked out and then we find out he's gay and wants her band mate. I think I just might like this video.

Super Bass:
No, too much pink giraffe print, too much yellow eyeshadow, too much eyelash. No.
Too much fake freckles, too much blinking. If we had a weeping angel here you'd be dead.
Oh look, a barbie car.
When it flashing from a grossly muscular body back to Nicki's face, I think she looks a bit too excited.
Wait, we had a black guy a minute ago, why is this one white?
Oh look, a barbie jet.
This just said "motherfucking", I think it deserves an "(Explicit)" label that it  doesn't have.
Ok, he's black again.
How trashy is it to have half your bra showing? Nicki Minaj trashy.
I have always wondered who the guy with the thing on his eye was.
Somebody please tell him who the FI is. Well, FI usually means factual informati-
Oh, wait, you mean who the fuck you are... Use proper grammar next time, honey.
He doesn't mind her groping him.
And look, Nicki clones everywhere!
XYZ, Nicki, XYZ.
Again, she said "N*gga" and I think this should be Explicit.
What is this pink goo they're swimming in?
"When you give me that look then the panties coming off" What if he gives you that look in public? Like, in front of the president?
And yes, all american men are in touch with their feminine side. Not.
Nicki, stop humping that ice motorcycle.
Your poor mother must be so sad.
Ok, I must admit that if they had more clothes the black light part would be AWESOME.
Please invite me to the neon feathers blacklight party.
I think these men have just turned to poles for them to dance on.

So over all that music video was.. Well, I really don't know what to think.
Those girls are objectifying themselves, and yet the men just stood by and were props for the video. In general, it deserves an explicit label that didn't make it into the youtube title.

California Gurls:
Now usually I love Katy Perry songs, but I've heard this on the radio, and I'm scared to watch the video.
This man looks like He would give candy to children and then molest them.
You say the grass is really greener, and yet I see no green at all.
That gummy bear just flipped her off. It's Ted all over again.
This video so far is over all confusing.
She says daisy dukes, bikinis on top, but she's wearing nothing. Nothing at all.
The mountain of reeses and oreos. Yes.
Why is this woman stuck in jello? WHY?
None of them have golden curls.
They flirted with the gingerbread man. Then ate him. Katy, you disapoint me.
SHE WAS WRAPPED IN FREAKING PLASTIC, SHE SHOULD BE DEAD!!
These cupcake bra's scare me.
And here's the pimp to sell them all.
Her vioce just got scary.
So this video was over all disappointing for Katy Perry standards.
Yet, I usually listen to Katy Perry on the radio, so what would I know?

Stupid Girls (Finally):
So to make up for having to listen to all of these terrible songs, I'm going to give you a commentary on P!nk's Stupid Girls.
 Why are all of these girls wearing glasses?
"Looking for a daddy to pay for the champagne" A subject I am uncomfortable commenting on.
I would vote for P!nk if she ran for president.
The spray tanning scene is the BEST, I think its the funniest part.
The inflat-a-bra is great.
I think everything about this video is what I want to scream at peoople constantly.
This video is so funny. She's just driving along and hitting people.
For anyone who can't see, her shirt says "Die Hipster Scum"
Ok, everytime I see the scene when they are making themselves puke I want to puke myself.
May I also point out that she doesn't wash the tooth brush.
I love how she says "I will be skinny!" as she pukes.
The way she's washing her car reeks of Call Me Maybe.
Doing the whole Nicki Minaj booty swivle.
Oh, and she ran off her sweats! "Say No To Food" Undies!
The reconstruction surgery looks like that picture of what would have to be taken off of a human to make them look like a barbie.
Oh, and what exactly does all of this stupid crap lead to? the scene at 3:15 of the video.
Foot ball?
Barbies?
Football?
Barbies?
Grab the foot ball, Angel P!nk has done her job.

So if you read all the way through this without watching the video too, you're probably pretty confused, but thats ok. Try again and watch the video with it. Until next time, peoples.

- Phred

11 Things We Hate That People Say

Hey guys, Phred here. So I decided to make a list of things I hate that people say. Phrank and I worked together to make this! Here it is:

1. It's Nothing, I'm Fine.

   No! I'm taking the time out of my freaking day to find out what's wrong, don't make me beg! I want to know what's wrong so I can help!

2. Not To Offend You, But...

    Usually followed by something extremely offensive.

3. You're Just Doing That To Get Attention.

    Yeah, I'm being a f*cking bisexual which I have to hide from everyone for the attention. I'm really happy with the attention I get from the two friends I have told. I love being told I look like a crack head from my own freaking family for wearing dark makeup. I'm so sure.

4. The Right One Will Come Along Eventually

    If I'm ranting about not having a boyfriend/girlfriend I really just want you to sympathize with me, I don't want to be told prince charming will come.

5. F*ck, Sh*t, D*mn, B*tch, B*stard, F*ggot

    Every other freaking word. If your everyday sentence looks like this "Can you go to the d*mn store and pick up some f*cking milk and sh*t? Here's the keys, b*stard." then you have something you need to work out. It's even worse when the cussing is forced and you can tell it is. 

6.  It'll Make Sense When You Have Your Own Kids

     No, I don't think it will. I don't think hitting a child is sufficient discipline, also I will never have so many kids that I can't afford to do things like vacations. And I will never homeschool them.

7.  I Hang Out With Guys 'Cause It's Less Drama

     Really? Because last time I checked, having one gay boy as a friend is soooo not hanging out with guys. Even if you do hang out with guys, don't be like that girl. If you honestly hang out with guys because it's less drama you won't need to go prancing it around in peoples face. Plus, sometimes throwing a girl into a mix of guys can be more drama then a bunch of girls unless you're basically a man in a woman's body.

8. I Know How You Feel.

   Really? You ever  been in my exact situation? EXACT? Didn't think so. Come back when you've suddenly stolen all of my memories and life experiences

9. Boom, Roasted!

    Um, no. Do I look like a slow cooked piece of beef to you? Being proved wrong on one thing doesn't require you to get in my face and state the status of last night's dinner.

10. Guys Don't Pay Attention To Me Cause I'm Not Hot.
      This is just fishing for compliments, and the worst kind of compliment you can get is one you had to ask for

11. I Love Glasses! I'd Wear Them All The Time If I Could!

      Haha no. You think it's cool to have to pieces of glass infront of your eyes 24/7?!? Try doing anything           that requires water.Guess what? Can't see. Got a swimming pool? To bad, you'll be blind in it. Glasses         are not fricking fun or 'cool'. Being visually impaired is irritating, not admirable.

So here's the top eleven things that we hate that people say! What things do you hate that people say? Tell us in the comments! Thanks for reading, and have a hateful day ;)

                                           - Phrank and Phred

      

The Pillow of Amazing Sleep

Wassup my weirdos. I am bored, again(shocker). And when I'm bored, I figure sharing my thoughts and stories isn't a bad thing to do. Anyways, I'm telling a story now. So Saturday my parents went to Sam's Club and bought themselves new pillows. Being the first child in their room after opening said pillows, Mom offered three of their old ones to me. A huge score for me, seeing as I have two beds, and previously only owned two usable pillows. Having taken the pillows to my room, I proceeded to smash my face into them to decide which to put on the bed I use, and which to put on the 'guest bed'(really's Phred's bed, being as she's the only one in a year who's slept in it). Then I made an astounding discovery: the most comfortable of the pillows smelled like my Dad's cologne! Now, I understand that the smell of cologne makes some people want to vomit. However, it is among the top ten of my favorite smells ever. At the time, I was texting my boyfriend, and in my excitement I told him what I've just told you. He responded by saying something along the lines that it was a comfort/safety thing, and that he found it in sound and touch. Being the wonderful, caring girlfriend that I am, I pointed out that what he'd said was very vague, and that that could mean he found comfort in the screeches of dying bats and being slapped with a steel gauntlet. I think he laughed. After saying goodnight, and putting PJ's on, the whole procedure, I laid down and went to sleep. The next morning I discovered that not only did the pillow smell amazing and was extremely comfortable, I discovered that it produces the best night's sleep I've ever had. And it does so every night. It's amazing.
Sorry for the dramatic ending. I'm still working on those. Anywho, I've got to go check on another project Phreddie and I have been working on, called the Adventures of Og and Igga, coming soon to a blog near you. Also, we have a new layout! Give us some feedback, our email address conveniently located on the right side of your screen. That's all for now.
Next time,
Phrank M.

A little food for thought. Long post, and I'm getting religious, but not preachey. please don't skip because you don't 'do religion'

Alright guys, venting time. 

Phrank here, after a long day of gettin my Jesus on at church and community group. I know this is the internet, and safety is key and all, the whole 'don't give personal information to strangers in the internet, or you'll be kidnapped and murdered and whatnot', but to the pits with that, I'm gonna be 'risky' here for a minute. I go to a church called Cross Point Church, we are centered in middle Tennessee, with our broadcast campus being in Nashville. I know, sounds confusing, but it's not I promise. See, we are a 'multi-site' church, with several locations, or campuses. Those locations being one in Nashville, Belleview, Franklin, Dickson, and one called the Dream Center, which I believe is also in Nashville, but is mainly a help-center type thing. Nashville is called the broadcast campus because, though every campus has it's own pastor, every Sunday our Senior Pastor, Pastor Pete, preaches from Nashville to all four of the other locations via live video broadcast, which, if you're interested, you can watch live online anywhere at crosspoint.tv/live. Sorry. I didn't mean to start advertising.  Anyways, tonight at my community group, a few interesting points were brought to my attention. Not really points, so much as questions.  We were staying on topic about as well as a bunch of high school teenagers could, which surprisingly was very focused par our usual standards.  At some point one of the girls slightly older than me- for blogging purposes I'll call her Sam-said some word, I can't even remember the word anymore, but it somehow lead to our group leader of the night-our youth pastor- to ask us this question= 

If a man spends his whole life on an island, never interacting with another human ever, and dies, does he go to Heaven or Hell? Naturally, the technical questions were asked, how did he get there? what about his mom, who was she? he had to have a mom. How did he survive to adulthood? things to get him out of being completely solitary his entire existence. Mr YP(youth pastor), who was playing the Devil's Advocate, just said to try and forget the technicalities, make up our own versions, but keep the fundamental points the same. After attempting to do so, he asked to signal a thumbs up of down to tell whether we thought he'd go Upstairs to fluffy clouds and peace or down to hell fire sulfur smells and brimstone(whatever you prefer). Everyone signaled up. Except for Mr. YP, playing advocate. (if you don;t know what it means to be the devil's advocate, it basically means to ask questions from a non-believer's point of view, causing believers to question why they believe the way they do, and hopefully strengthen it.) Now, we got into a whole big discussion as to why he would or wouldn't go to heaven, but if  I told you every piece of evidence used to make one way correct versus the other, I'd be here till Christmas (for those of you who can't find the dates on the post, today is January 20, at 12:something A.M.) So, here's where you, our readers, if we have any, come in. I want you to give me your perspective, please. I'm still having a lot of runnaway thinks in my brain, and can't quite pin down what I'm trying to decide inside my head. I would really appreciate some input, if for nothing else than to answer the pleadings of a confused mind. Another thing that was said was what was our lives liked before we got saved versus now. That's a hard question for me, for a couple reasons. One, I was raised in a church of Christ, so I've pretty much believed in God and Jesus since I knew what church was. Two, I don't know if I'm considered technically saved. I know most denominations think different things make you saved, and sometimes I don't know what to think is right. In COC, I don't think they consider you saved until you've been baptized, which I have not yet. I do have full intentions to, but I don't consider myself to feel ready yet. I think I'm close, but not quite. But Cross Point is what's called non-denominational, and was built with the mind set of making a church for people who hate going to church. So when Mr. Yp asked what it was like before I was saved, I felt I couldn't answer the question, I truly didn't know if I was saved, and it was a bit frightening. So another assignment for you readers, I want to know what you think it is to be saved by God. I don't care if you're baptist or Church of Christ of from a snake church or whatever you believe. For once in my life I feel actually drawn to the idea of  God, and Heaven, and Faith, and my own faith is starting to feel real. I'm not just going to church because it's what you're supposed to do, I want to go, and I believe because I actually do, not as a mindless mandatory thing you're parents tell you. So please. give me your opinions. I crave them. Whether or not you believe in God or Gandhi or Buddha or you're Wiccan or atheist or even ancient Greek or roman gods/goddesses or you're just not sure.  I want all of your opinions, and value them all. So please don't ignore me if you read this, I don't care who you are. 

Sorry for the long post, and going all 'churchy' on you. Goodnight, 

Phrank M.

Hi guys (no it's not sexist it's a generalization term. The Spanish language does the Same thing.)

Phrankie Is bored. Can you help please. Please. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease. Seriously. Frickin bored. 

It's official. Phrankie is is bored. . . . . I'M BORED!!!!!!!!! Little quote from noted youtuber Jeffery Dallas's "Jeffery is bored." If you haven't seen his videos go check them out. Now. NOW! No, just kidding, finish reading this post first. Then go check them out. Also their brother-Channel Julian Smith. You know why? Cuz HE MADE FOR THEM YOU!!!!!!!("hot koolaid"). Also? Check out a channel called rhett and link and rhett and link2. I love GMM. And BLR is pretty funny too. BLR is a channel, not a video. Personal favorite youtube video(video, not channel) is bonk bonk bonk bonk learns a lesson. Forgot who posted it. Yes, I did Type bonk four times on purpose. 

WEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLL now I'm gonna go before I rant. Bye bye. Phrankie Mcsparrow. 

Funny( and slightly stupid) thoughts of the *amount of time since the last time I posted*

I, phrank, have decided to start a segment about dumb things I have heard throughout my daily life. 

This is installment no.1

(Names changed for reasons. You're sensible, figure the reasons out yourself)

Thing number one:

My sister said dranken in a sentence. For those of you who are confused, dranken is not a word. My mum's iPad keeps correcting it to Frankenstein. 

Thing number two: this joke my brother said.

"How do bees keep their hair clean?" *insert awkward silence* "with a honey comb."

Thing number three: this thing that happened to my cousin. 

My aunt was at my house, and she brought my youngest two cousins. My youngest cousin is fifteen and has a girlfriend. After checking the time, he set his phone on our coffee table. My aunt, seeing his background picture, asked "Kenny, ( again, names changed) is that justin beiber?!"( referring to his background pic). His response: "That's my GIRLFRIEND."

That's all folks. 

Bye,

Phrank.