Phreddie here! Being the total man-girl I am (Phrank will laugh, you couldn't tell I was by my clothes), I'm feminist.
So, let's have a time of ranting.
I'm watching as many gross girly music videos I can before I puke.
I'm also going to do a commentary is I watch them, and you might want to read this while watching the video. Just a suggestion.
so here goes:
Call Me Maybe:
You threw a wish in the well, don't tell me I'll never ask.
Is he mowing her yard? Is that what's going on?
Did she brake into his house?
Ok, so when she says "I trade my soul for a wish, pennies and dimes for a kiss"
She basically just told us what she wished for.
And what does this "And now you're in my way" mean?
Is he holding her back from something?
This guy is way too muscular. Just sayin.
And now he sees her.
SERIOUSLY, IS HE IN HER YARD OR IS SHE IN HIS HOUSE?!
She broke into his house and he finds this amusing.
Yes, yes, because a garage band consisting of teenage guys would so play music for a song is pathetic as call me maybe. Hah.
"It's hard to look right at you baby" Actually, get me some popcorn, I could stare at this boy all day.
Ok when she says all the other boys try to chase me, that just strikes me as I'm a stuck up mother dog who will only accept a very, very muscular man who even manages to make drinking water look sexy.
These boys are like "Wash the car woman!" Which reminds me of my friends. Ah memories.
Seriously, what is in her way?!
Stop trying to get his attention. Just stop.
Ok, she keeps on saying I just met you, but all she ever did was brake into his house and sing at him with a garage band that looks way too cool for her.
You're trying so hard to look sexy washing that car. You should go be in P!nks Stupid Girls video.
She fell off the car and died. Thank god.
Oh wait, she's alive.
When they go to a bad cover of a romance novel, I swear to god he's wearing a womans crappy halloween wig.
She's all kissy kissy in the air and he finds it funny. Wow, I would find it creepy and walk away slowly.
She just laughs it off instead of being mortified. Music videos are very realistic.
Oh how I would love for a band to show up every time I needed to impress someone.
AND HE'S GAY! OH MY GOD! THAT WAS THE BEST ENDING I HAVE EVER SEEN!
So to recap, she brakes into his house, wallows on her soapy car, duck faces at him while knocked out and then we find out he's gay and wants her band mate. I think I just might like this video.
Super Bass:
No, too much pink giraffe print, too much yellow eyeshadow, too much eyelash. No.
Too much fake freckles, too much blinking. If we had a weeping angel here you'd be dead.
Oh look, a barbie car.
When it flashing from a grossly muscular body back to Nicki's face, I think she looks a bit too excited.
Wait, we had a black guy a minute ago, why is this one white?
Oh look, a barbie jet.
This just said "motherfucking", I think it deserves an "(Explicit)" label that it doesn't have.
Ok, he's black again.
How trashy is it to have half your bra showing? Nicki Minaj trashy.
I have always wondered who the guy with the thing on his eye was.
Somebody please tell him who the FI is. Well, FI usually means factual informati-
Oh, wait, you mean who the fuck you are... Use proper grammar next time, honey.
He doesn't mind her groping him.
And look, Nicki clones everywhere!
XYZ, Nicki, XYZ.
Again, she said "N*gga" and I think this should be Explicit.
What is this pink goo they're swimming in?
"When you give me that look then the panties coming off" What if he gives you that look in public? Like, in front of the president?
And yes, all american men are in touch with their feminine side. Not.
Nicki, stop humping that ice motorcycle.
Your poor mother must be so sad.
Ok, I must admit that if they had more clothes the black light part would be AWESOME.
Please invite me to the neon feathers blacklight party.
I think these men have just turned to poles for them to dance on.
So over all that music video was.. Well, I really don't know what to think.
Those girls are objectifying themselves, and yet the men just stood by and were props for the video. In general, it deserves an explicit label that didn't make it into the youtube title.
California Gurls:
Now usually I love Katy Perry songs, but I've heard this on the radio, and I'm scared to watch the video.
This man looks like He would give candy to children and then molest them.
You say the grass is really greener, and yet I see no green at all.
That gummy bear just flipped her off. It's Ted all over again.
This video so far is over all confusing.
She says daisy dukes, bikinis on top, but she's wearing nothing. Nothing at all.
The mountain of reeses and oreos. Yes.
Why is this woman stuck in jello? WHY?
None of them have golden curls.
They flirted with the gingerbread man. Then ate him. Katy, you disapoint me.
SHE WAS WRAPPED IN FREAKING PLASTIC, SHE SHOULD BE DEAD!!
These cupcake bra's scare me.
And here's the pimp to sell them all.
Her vioce just got scary.
So this video was over all disappointing for Katy Perry standards.
Yet, I usually listen to Katy Perry on the radio, so what would I know?
Stupid Girls (Finally):
So to make up for having to listen to all of these terrible songs, I'm going to give you a commentary on P!nk's Stupid Girls.
Why are all of these girls wearing glasses?
"Looking for a daddy to pay for the champagne" A subject I am uncomfortable commenting on.
I would vote for P!nk if she ran for president.
The spray tanning scene is the BEST, I think its the funniest part.
The inflat-a-bra is great.
I think everything about this video is what I want to scream at peoople constantly.
This video is so funny. She's just driving along and hitting people.
For anyone who can't see, her shirt says "Die Hipster Scum"
Ok, everytime I see the scene when they are making themselves puke I want to puke myself.
May I also point out that she doesn't wash the tooth brush.
I love how she says "I will be skinny!" as she pukes.
The way she's washing her car reeks of Call Me Maybe.
Doing the whole Nicki Minaj booty swivle.
Oh, and she ran off her sweats! "Say No To Food" Undies!
The reconstruction surgery looks like that picture of what would have to be taken off of a human to make them look like a barbie.
Oh, and what exactly does all of this stupid crap lead to? the scene at 3:15 of the video.
Foot ball?
Barbies?
Football?
Barbies?
Grab the foot ball, Angel P!nk has done her job.
So if you read all the way through this without watching the video too, you're probably pretty confused, but thats ok. Try again and watch the video with it. Until next time, peoples.
- Phred
I'm watching as many gross girly music videos I can before I puke.
I'm also going to do a commentary is I watch them, and you might want to read this while watching the video. Just a suggestion.
so here goes:
Call Me Maybe:
You threw a wish in the well, don't tell me I'll never ask.
Is he mowing her yard? Is that what's going on?
Did she brake into his house?
Ok, so when she says "I trade my soul for a wish, pennies and dimes for a kiss"
She basically just told us what she wished for.
And what does this "And now you're in my way" mean?
Is he holding her back from something?
This guy is way too muscular. Just sayin.
And now he sees her.
SERIOUSLY, IS HE IN HER YARD OR IS SHE IN HIS HOUSE?!
She broke into his house and he finds this amusing.
Yes, yes, because a garage band consisting of teenage guys would so play music for a song is pathetic as call me maybe. Hah.
"It's hard to look right at you baby" Actually, get me some popcorn, I could stare at this boy all day.
Ok when she says all the other boys try to chase me, that just strikes me as I'm a stuck up mother dog who will only accept a very, very muscular man who even manages to make drinking water look sexy.
These boys are like "Wash the car woman!" Which reminds me of my friends. Ah memories.
Seriously, what is in her way?!
Stop trying to get his attention. Just stop.
Ok, she keeps on saying I just met you, but all she ever did was brake into his house and sing at him with a garage band that looks way too cool for her.
You're trying so hard to look sexy washing that car. You should go be in P!nks Stupid Girls video.
She fell off the car and died. Thank god.
Oh wait, she's alive.
When they go to a bad cover of a romance novel, I swear to god he's wearing a womans crappy halloween wig.
She's all kissy kissy in the air and he finds it funny. Wow, I would find it creepy and walk away slowly.
She just laughs it off instead of being mortified. Music videos are very realistic.
Oh how I would love for a band to show up every time I needed to impress someone.
AND HE'S GAY! OH MY GOD! THAT WAS THE BEST ENDING I HAVE EVER SEEN!
So to recap, she brakes into his house, wallows on her soapy car, duck faces at him while knocked out and then we find out he's gay and wants her band mate. I think I just might like this video.
Super Bass:
No, too much pink giraffe print, too much yellow eyeshadow, too much eyelash. No.
Too much fake freckles, too much blinking. If we had a weeping angel here you'd be dead.
Oh look, a barbie car.
When it flashing from a grossly muscular body back to Nicki's face, I think she looks a bit too excited.
Wait, we had a black guy a minute ago, why is this one white?
Oh look, a barbie jet.
This just said "motherfucking", I think it deserves an "(Explicit)" label that it doesn't have.
Ok, he's black again.
How trashy is it to have half your bra showing? Nicki Minaj trashy.
I have always wondered who the guy with the thing on his eye was.
Somebody please tell him who the FI is. Well, FI usually means factual informati-
Oh, wait, you mean who the fuck you are... Use proper grammar next time, honey.
He doesn't mind her groping him.
And look, Nicki clones everywhere!
XYZ, Nicki, XYZ.
Again, she said "N*gga" and I think this should be Explicit.
What is this pink goo they're swimming in?
"When you give me that look then the panties coming off" What if he gives you that look in public? Like, in front of the president?
And yes, all american men are in touch with their feminine side. Not.
Nicki, stop humping that ice motorcycle.
Your poor mother must be so sad.
Ok, I must admit that if they had more clothes the black light part would be AWESOME.
Please invite me to the neon feathers blacklight party.
I think these men have just turned to poles for them to dance on.
So over all that music video was.. Well, I really don't know what to think.
Those girls are objectifying themselves, and yet the men just stood by and were props for the video. In general, it deserves an explicit label that didn't make it into the youtube title.
California Gurls:
Now usually I love Katy Perry songs, but I've heard this on the radio, and I'm scared to watch the video.
This man looks like He would give candy to children and then molest them.
You say the grass is really greener, and yet I see no green at all.
That gummy bear just flipped her off. It's Ted all over again.
This video so far is over all confusing.
She says daisy dukes, bikinis on top, but she's wearing nothing. Nothing at all.
The mountain of reeses and oreos. Yes.
Why is this woman stuck in jello? WHY?
None of them have golden curls.
They flirted with the gingerbread man. Then ate him. Katy, you disapoint me.
SHE WAS WRAPPED IN FREAKING PLASTIC, SHE SHOULD BE DEAD!!
These cupcake bra's scare me.
And here's the pimp to sell them all.
Her vioce just got scary.
So this video was over all disappointing for Katy Perry standards.
Yet, I usually listen to Katy Perry on the radio, so what would I know?
Stupid Girls (Finally):
So to make up for having to listen to all of these terrible songs, I'm going to give you a commentary on P!nk's Stupid Girls.
Why are all of these girls wearing glasses?
"Looking for a daddy to pay for the champagne" A subject I am uncomfortable commenting on.
I would vote for P!nk if she ran for president.
The spray tanning scene is the BEST, I think its the funniest part.
The inflat-a-bra is great.
I think everything about this video is what I want to scream at peoople constantly.
This video is so funny. She's just driving along and hitting people.
For anyone who can't see, her shirt says "Die Hipster Scum"
Ok, everytime I see the scene when they are making themselves puke I want to puke myself.
May I also point out that she doesn't wash the tooth brush.
I love how she says "I will be skinny!" as she pukes.
The way she's washing her car reeks of Call Me Maybe.
Doing the whole Nicki Minaj booty swivle.
Oh, and she ran off her sweats! "Say No To Food" Undies!
The reconstruction surgery looks like that picture of what would have to be taken off of a human to make them look like a barbie.
Oh, and what exactly does all of this stupid crap lead to? the scene at 3:15 of the video.
Foot ball?
Barbies?
Football?
Barbies?
Grab the foot ball, Angel P!nk has done her job.
So if you read all the way through this without watching the video too, you're probably pretty confused, but thats ok. Try again and watch the video with it. Until next time, peoples.
- Phred
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