Sunday, March 16, 2014

Useless inventions

Okay,  Phrank here. Now, in my seemingly short almost fifteen years, I've seen some pretty dumb inventions advertised. So today, whilst watching one of my favorite shows (A.K.A Supernatural), and yet again I saw a commercial for one of the most useless things(in my mind at least) and decided to make a list of it and every other useless invention I can think of, and I will be rate them on a star rating system of * to *****. (one star being least dumb, five being most)

1. That dumb Lysol hands-free soap dispenser. 
Let's face it, this was probably made with very good intentions, and a lot of people most likely think it's genius.  But come on, why on earth does it matter if you get a few germs on your hands because you pumped the handle? If you're using the soap dispenser, shouldn't you be about to wash your hands anyways? Therefore washing off any germs you could have picked up from the soap. Verdict? Good intentions, but not thought through.
Rating? ****

2. Big Mouth Singing Bass. 
These things are basically plastic taxidermy bellowing parodies of classic rock whilst flopping around on a plaque on your wall. They provide hours of time wasting entertainment. Oh, who am I kidding. These things are great.
Rating? **

3. the "Cami Secret".
 A triangle of fabric you clip onto your bra to cover your dirty pillows(that's right, Carrie reference)!!! Bonus! if you look at one not currently in use, it looks like half a super plus sized thong!
Rating? ***

4.  The Trendy Top.
To put it in in the most basic words, the trendy top is the bottom half of a shirt, which you put UNDERNEATH your shirt, to cover your butt crack. My personal opinion is that if you really need this that badly, either get a longer shirt because yours obviously doesn't fit, or maybe you should get some less low-rising jeans.  But hey, put it on with your Cami Secret and you've just about got a full cami!
Rating? ***

5. Hipster Glasses.
I really don't think you want me to get into my deep-seated hatred for the 'style' of wearing glasses because you think they're hot. And how to make them out as useless so that they actually belong on this list? They serve the wearer no purpose but making me despise them.
Rating? *****

Hope you enjoyed!!! Keep watch for more additions!!!
Love Love,
Phrank Mc.

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